Thursday, January 17, 2013
In the past, I've always tried to avoid using this space to give full-throated endorsements in an attempt to hawk wares. That is, until I discovered the greatest invention of the century, a product so innovative that it will fundamentally alter the human condition for the better. I'm talking, of course, about the WaxVac, a revolution in the science of ear-cleaning. We have long known that Q-tips are foul, cotton-headed monsters sent from the bowels of the underworld to wreak havoc on our eardrums, but thanks to this modern miracle, their reign of terror is finally at an end. But don't take my word for it, watch this commercial, and you, too, will become a believer!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Please forgive the lack of a Song Of The Week last Friday. Though I had something written up and ready to go, I decided to forego posting for obvious reasons. Like you, I was shocked and appalled at what had happened, and while I wanted to share my feelings on the matter, this is not the appropriate forum for moral or political discourse. I hope to return with more levity in the new year, but until then, I wish you and yours the Happiest of Holidays.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
It was brought to my attention this week that Brazil actually has a competition known as the Miss Bum Bum Pageant. You can imagine my disappointment when I learned that the winner was, in fact, the woman with the most shapely posterior and not the one with the most fashionable bindle. I don't know about you, but the latter scenario sounds much more entertaining to me. I know if I were a female vagabond, I would definitely be willing to overlook some objectification for a chance to win a lifetime supply of pork and beans.
Friday, November 30, 2012
With all the hullabaloo over Powerball, Twinkies, and the "fiscal cliff," the biggest news of the week has gone largely unnoticed. After years of trying, Apple has finally done what was once thought impossible and actually released an aesthetically pleasing version of iTunes. Not only that, but it's consuming less system resources than before, so as the antithesis of an Apple fanboy, I've got to tip my cap and ask the question, "What does crow taste like, and how much will I have to ingest?"
Friday, November 23, 2012
As I emerge from my tryptophan-induced coma and reflect upon the year that has been, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the many blessings in my life. A new job, a master's degree, a wedding, and a honeymoon have all contributed to the best of my thirty years on this crazy planet. And I know that with the continued love and support from great friends, a wonderful family, and an amazing wife that the best is yet to come. Speaking of my lovely spouse, this particular SOTW is dedicated to Cassandra, whose love is the thing for which I am and always will be most thankful. To everyone else, thanks for reading, and to you and yours, I wish a safe and happy Holiday Season!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Some people just don't know when to quit, and I happen to be one of them. After receiving a handful of requests to bring back SOTW, I've decided to oblige my rabid entourage...all three of them. Why such a long hiatus? It's difficult to say, really; perhaps I spent the past few months trapped in an existential vacuum, questioning the very nature and origins of the universe. A more likely answer is that I'm lazy and wanted a break. Either way, the important thing is that I'm back in the saddle, and I'm ready for the inevitable chafing that comes with it.
The Presets - Fall
Friday, August 10, 2012
After a brief hiatus to celebrate our blissful matrimony, Cassandra and I are back to reality. And our return couldn't be more timely as now we're able to spend our evenings on the couch watching the Olympics. The only problem is that for the past week, I've had to overcome the urge to play the Google Doodles instead of doing something productive. That, and my self-esteem takes a hit whenever I see a shirtless athlete...well, except for maybe a power lifter, but that's a whole other ball of inadequate wax.
Purity Ring - Fineshrine